BUDGET BLOGMAS | DAY NINETEEN: TOP 10 FESTIVE VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE | IN COLLABORATION WITH PRETTY PERFECT PRODUCTS | AD

Hello and welcome to I’m NOT Disordered’s Budget Blogmas!

Today, I thought I’d do a fun post and share some of my favourite, festive videos from YouTube…

TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS IN WAYS YOU’VE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT

“No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.”

Taylor Swift

So, I woke up with this Taylor Swift song in my head (Never Grow Up) and with the therapeutic tools that I’ve learnt over the years, I decided to try ‘flooding’ myself with the song… but instead of playing that one song over and over, it ended up turning into a marathon of all my favourite Taylor Swift songs!! And in the process of my little appreciation concert(!), I found myself – as I’m sure we all do when listening to music – thinking about everything that the lyrics reminded me of. In doing this, I got to wondering whether the meaning of those songs for me, would be a surprise to others…

So, even if you’ve been reading, I’m NOT Disordered for a while, you may not know that the abuse I experienced when I was younger was a result of a very well-respected man being given an opportunity.

The reasons you may not know is because for legal reasons I can’t name my abuser and this side of the abuse – the details of how it started – has always been difficult to describe without disclosing identifiable information about my abuser. I’m at a point now though, that if I don’t disclose his name, but can give sort of abstract details about him and people will know who I’m talking about, that says more about him than it should about the legalities of the situation. And to know that this is the case, is actually really helpful for my mental health.

BLOGMAS 2020 WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED | RECOMMENDATION TWENTY-ONE: CHRISTMAS SONGS

Hello and welcome to recommendation number twenty-one of Blogmas 2020 with I’m NOT Disordered!

Today, I’ll be sharing with you all my favourite Christmassy tunes and the lyrics I love from each of them; as well as YouTube videos for each…

 

Mariah Carey – All I Want For Christmas

I don’t want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

I don’t care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas Tree

 

Band Aid – Do They Know It’s Christmas?

It’s Christmas time

There’s no need to be afraid

At Christmas time

We let in light and we banish shade

 

FIVE SONGS HELPING ME THROUGH MY MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS

I won't live inside your world

'Cause your punches and your names
All your jokes and stupid games
They don't work
No, they don't hurt
Watch them just go right through me
Because they mean nothing to me

-          Grace Vanderwaal – Clay

The huge catalyst for this recent ‘blip’ in my mental health was the news about my abuser’s new job role. It brought back all the old feelings about him – the anger, frustration, sadness… it all came flooding back, overwhelming me and taking over all of the positive thoughts and feelings. To come through the blip, I’m trying to regain some control over all those negative feelings and bring them in check so that they’re manageable and aren’t influencing my thoughts to self-harm or cause me to feel suicidal. Instead, I’m trying to adopt the attitude that no matter what he says or does, I’ll just get on with my life. I have to.

WEEK EIGHT | 52 LISTS FOR HAPPINESS | OLIVER BONAS | AD

You can buy this book here

Every week, for 2018 there will be post of what I’ve done in the book each week. And the eighth list?

List the things you like to do that don't involve technology:

THREE SONGS THAT I LIVE BY

Music is, in my opinion, one of the most powerful, influential, and incredible things in life. It can influence your mental state in the most obvious of ways; you could be feeling really sad and listen to an upbeat, motivational song and it has you up, out of bed, and smiling. Dancing, even! Or you could be dancing and singing loudly in the shower when a sad, moving, song jumps into your Spotify playlist and all of a sudden, you’re remembering a difficult time in your life when all of these heart-breaking lyrics applied to it.