AN OPEN LETTER TO MARTIN BAKER OF 'GUM ON MY SHOE'

Dear Marty,


After reading one of your recent blog posts, I know that you’ve been feeling sort of lost recently and have been questioning your place in the mental health world so I thought that perhaps this letter might motivate you through these doubts and struggles. 


Firstly, I wanted to say how glad I am to have met you at that Time To Change event – it’s always nice and fun to meet someone who you’ve connected with online, in person. But there was something special about you – something different. You were genuine. I think that, these days, it’s incredibly hard to find someone who is the same in person as they are online, not a lot of people are genuine and of course there those who hide behind a keyboard but I feel like you and I are both learning that there’s also a huge number of people on social media who can be of invaluable support online. And you have helped me to see this as I’ve gotten to know you – especially during a recent visit to A&E(!) – I’ve seen how many people you support through social media. Learning that number really did leave me speechless! It’s inspiring to think of the strength you have in order to be there for so many people.

TIME TO TALK DAY 2019 ... WITH GUESTS!!

Happy Time To Talk Day!

https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/get-involved/timetotalkday2019 

For Time To Talk Day 2019 I spoke to a number of individuals and got their thoughts on the benefits of talking about mental health…

@Meandmymhmatter, Blogger at Me and My Mental Health Matters 

Talking about mental health helps people feel less alone and less isolated. Sharing my story not only helps others but it helps my feel less ashamed of myself. Also, it helps break down the stigma surrounding mental health and shows people that it can happen to anyone.

Charlotte Underwood, Author and Blogger 

FIVE TIPS FOR ORIGINAL CONTENT

I’ve basically just wrote over six hundred words about forgiveness and the act of apologizing to find that I’d already posted something along very similar lines only three months ago! And the way I finally made that discovery inspired me to come up with some tips for other Bloggers to avoid making the same mistake:

1.       Use ‘labels’ or ‘tags’

On Blogger (I’m unsure if it’s the same on other Blogging sites) it allows you the option to choose keywords around the subject of each of your blog posts. You can make this list as extensive or as limited as you like but it allows for your post to show in Google searches on the words you’ve included. The other bonus of this (which I’ve just discovered) is that you can search for all posts featuring a particular label which means that you can ensure that your content is actually original to anything you’ve ever posted.

HOW TO LAND A COLLABORATION | FOUR TOP TIPS

After attending the Richmond Fellowship Working Together Committee meeting on January 24^th, it got me thinking a lot about all of the collaborations I’ve had with organizations. And now that I’m NOT Disordered has almost half a million readers, I feel like maybe now is the right time to share some advice for new Bloggers and current Bloggers who aren’t as established as they’d like to be. I won’t pretend to be an expert though; there are so many Bloggers out there who are doing some incredible work with huge organizations, but I think that in the Blogging industry, there’s a lot around competition and tearing one another down in order to climb the ladder and I don’t want to be one of those Bloggers. Instead, I want to promote the positive impact Blogging can have on your mental health and encourage others to ‘give it a go.’ I’d love to see more mental health Blogs out there so that we can spread the word about the topic in an aim to diminish the stigma around it. Collaborating with Organizations also provides this opportunity and it has played a huge part in the success/popularity of I’m NOT Disordered.

TOP FIVE NOTEBOOKS THAT MAKE FOR WRITING INSPIRATION | FUTURE LEARN DISCOUNT CODE | AD

So I recently had a massive overhaul of my wardrobe and it spurred me on to sort through everything on the shelf under the coffee table. That shelf is like the ‘bottom drawer’ people talk about where you find random things and they just all go in that one place. Anyway! There was a ton of notebooks and organizers under there that weren’t being used and – I believed – weren’t going to be used. So of course, I threw out the lot and promptly started an online course with Future Learn! Going notebook shopping for taking notes on this new course inspired this post… I thought I’d take the opportunity to talk about my favourite five notebooks, and the writing inspiration they bring:

‘MAKE TODAY GREAT’

https://www.paperchase.com/en_gb/gifts/gifts-for/stationery-lovers/moglea-make-today-great-lined-notebook.html

SO YOU WANT TO BE A MENTAL HEALTH BLOGGER?

Are you ready to…

feel like a failure?

There are times where I’ve felt like a failure to my readers. When I’ve had hard days – particularly during my relapse - I felt that I’d let everyone down by being poorly again. I thought I’d been the poster child for mental health recovery and now, here I was, illustrating that even the strongest of recovery’s doesn’t last. No matter how long you go without self-harming or hearing voices, you can still be just as vulnerable as you were when those things were happening.  But feeling like that, made me realize that others might experience that too and might find – just as I would – the knowledge that they aren’t alone, reassuring. 

THE IMPORTANCE OF TELLING YOUR STORY

You’ve got the words to change a nation

But you’re biting your tongue

You’ve spent a life time stuck in silence

Afraid you’ll say something wrong

If no one ever hears it how we gunna learn your song?

Emeli Sande – Read All About It (pt III)

I’ve recently had a few bits of media work going on – filming with Channel 4, the BBC, Richmond Fellowship, and Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS FoundationTrust, as well as an interview with Koast Radio – and it got me thinking about my decision to tell the world about my mental health journey. And I’d like to encourage others to do the same.

When the abuse first began my instinct was to tell someone about it; to report it. His threats and warnings didn’t really matter when the real reluctance was coming from inside my own head. I was so afraid that I’d be judged for what had happened. That people would look at me differently and believe that I’d deserved it. They’d think less of me. Because ultimately, when abuse is reported – no matter who to – and one person is denying it ever took place, a person has to decide who they believe. You have to choose a side. And I didn’t know how I would cope if the people I knew chose his. Would it mean that actually, I hadn’t known them at all?

WEGO HEALTH AWARDS

Thank you to everyone who’s voted so far!

To nominate me/I’m NOT Disordered for the category ‘Best In Show: Blog’ please visit:

https://awards.wegohealth.com/nominees/12376

SIX PINTEREST PICS THAT SUM UP MY LIFE

Take a peek inside my Pinterest boards and my motivations behind some of my favourite pins with links to my favourite boards…

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/aimeswilson/

LONDON https://www.pinterest.co.uk/aimeswilson/london/

I remember my first visit to London when I was eighteen and my Mum took me down there for my Birthday. We had one of those theatre weekends booked where you get train fayre, a hotel room, and a night at a show of your choice in one packaged price. We chose The Lion King because it’s one of my favourite Disney movies and makes me cry every single time I watch it – no matter how old I get! Since then I’ve visited London on a number of occasions and for a number of different reasons; we visited again to see Legally Blonde on my 21^st Birthday, attended a party at Buckingham Palace to celebrate Blind Veterans 100^th Birthday, and I’ve attended numerous conferences, meetings, and events there. At one point, I was in London so often that I seriously considered moving down there. And then one of the terrorist attacks happened. And I was round the corner. It was when the man was found near Westminster with a bag full of knives. I remember leaving the event in the taxi and people were running, screaming towards us whilst Police riot vans raced in the opposite direction. After a little while, I couldn’t let it stop me from visiting the city that I’d grown to love so much.

WHY WE SHOULD ALL HAVE A ROLE MODEL

When I first started blogging there were three mental health blogs out there: one by a ex-service user, another by a mental health nurse, and one by a Police Officer with an interest in mental health. I was (to my knowledge) the only inpatient to be blogging. Looking back, I guess it makes sense that I was kind of floundering in my first year or so with I’m NOT Disordered; I had no one to look up to, no one to find inspiration in, no one to aspire to.

BLOWING YOUR TRUMPET IN THE BLOGGING WORLD

Join me for a chat about how essential it is to blow your own trumpet when trying to move up the ladder in the blogging world.

I think that it’s something I’ve learnt through my blogging career because to get opportunities in this industry, you have to tell others about you/your blog’s achievements in order to secure collaborations and – let’s face it – gifts! Some bloggers talk about how their numbers (in so far as their amount of readers) don’t matter to them, and it’s made to sound like those who say they do are… blogging for the wrong reason, perhaps? As though you’re only blogging for popularity and not because you enjoy it or benefit from it. Of course, this isn’t true. The popularity of my blog is really important to me but those of you who know me or have followed I’m NOT Disordered for a while will know how much I enjoy blogging, all of the opportunities that come with it, and what a hugely positive impact it has on my life/mental health.

MY GUIDE TO MANAGING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH ONLINE

 Social media is notorious for causing concerns around mental health. A lot of this is centred around a rise in the media publicity of youth suicides as a direct result of relentless, online bullying and trolling.

When I was around 15, I began being bullied at school and within days, it followed me home via MSN messenger (those good ol’ days!) and I began receiving spiteful messages under a ‘friends’ account. When I asked who it was: “your worst nightmare.” The bullying didn’t last long once I told my Mum about it and she reported it to the senior teachers at school.

Since then, the only negative comments I’ve had online had been through my blog - http://www.imnotdisordered.co.uk/2014/11/a-gentle-warning.html

WHY WE SHOULD TALK MORE ABOUT BEAUTY PRODUCTS | GIFTED BY M&S | AD

MY TWELVE FAVOURITE WOMEN | HAPPY (BELATED) INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!!

Happy (Belated) International Women’s Day!!

In this post, I’d like to discuss my ten favourite women in the world, and why they’re such an inspiration to me.

My Mum

This was an obvious one for me; my Mum and I are very close, and she has been one of my biggest supporters through my mental health struggles and recovery. My Mum is hugely independent; she has to have at least one hundred goes at doing something herself before she asks for help! If I am half the Mother she is when I have children, then my kids will be very lucky!

My Aunt

I don’t talk about my Aunt often on my blog because she lives in Dubai but she makes the most incredible effort to keep in touch with the whole UK family. My Aunt is very family oriented and, in a family, where drama should be our surname, that takes a lot of strength! We’ll always be bonded by the fact that we were the only two unable to say goodbye to my Nana. That’s a horrible thing to have in common but it’s also a very powerful thing.

WEEK EIGHT | 52 LISTS FOR HAPPINESS | OLIVER BONAS | AD

You can buy this book here

Every week, for 2018 there will be post of what I’ve done in the book each week. And the eighth list?

List the things you like to do that don't involve technology:

I'M NOT DISORDERED JOINS TEAM OB | OLIVER BONAS | AD

“I haven’t got a chance in getting this collaboration, but I figured that I’d try anyway”

“It’s like I always tell you; shy bairns get nowt!”

I had this conversation with my Mum not long after emailing the PR team at Oliver Bonas. After a few tweets with their Twitter team I finally got the email address for the team I needed to contact, to approach them with a collaboration idea.

A mental health blog probably seems a long way from a fashion blog but there can be more links than you’d think. Especially where the author of the blog is interested in, and passionate about; fashion.

I took Textiles at GCSE level and in ever project, and for every assignment I tried to incorporate clothing pieces as opposed to purely focusing on prints and researching artists specialising in multi-media. Admittedly, I’ve never been a trend setter; I prefer to follow them but my passion for fashion has me customising trends to flatter my body shape. I like how confident clothes and accessories can make you; if I wear a good outfit it doesn’t matter how I’m feeling on the inside, I’m smiling on the outside and strutting my stuff down to the corner shop! I like how happy fashion makes me – you should see my face when I find an amazing new Valentino bag in TK Maxx!

2018, HERE I COME!! | HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I wonder if, like phone networks, the internet and social media platforms crash at midnight?
I mean, how many Bloggers are there out there who will be scheduling a special piece for the very beginning of 2018?

It is times like this that are difficult, as a Blogger, to produce original content; it makes sense to write a New Years blog post, but you think that almost everyone will be writing either their resolutions, aims, goals, plans, or reviews of the year just gone… I think that the most original thing to do in this situation, almost, is to not even write a post!

 

HOW I STOPPED THINKING IN BLACK OR WHITE

I’m sure this it quite common for writers/bloggers; but I can draw inspiration for blog posts from the random of things. This post comes from a ‘challenge’ doing its rounds on Facebook. Every day for seven days, you’re meant to post a black and white photo. It can’t be of a person and you can’t explain it in the photo description/wall post. You also have to nominate someone on day one (you’ll have been nominated yourself from someone else, obviously!) to keep the challenge rolling.

Obviously, you’ve seen the title to this post I’m sure there’s no need to point it out, but the ‘black and white’ aspect of the challenge inspired me to write about black and white thinking.

HOW I GET MY MOJO BACK:

MOJO (məʊdʒəʊ)

Word forms: plural mojos, plural mojoes

countable noun

Your mojo is your personal power or influence over other people

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/mojo

A quality that attracts people to you and makes you successful and full of energy

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/mojo

I think that ‘mojo’ is one of those awesomely funny words that can naturally pop up in a sentence but if you stop and think about it… it’s a bit of a peculiar word. I think it’s one that people can have their own definitions for but hopefully, this post will embody all these possibilities…

NOTE: These are the things that affect my mojo and the ways and inspirations I use to improve them; they may not be the same as yours and you may need to use/discover different ways to improve your own.

WHEN I’M LOW ON CONFIDENCE…

I read something positive about my work and/or I’m NOT Disordered (my blogging).

I’m one of those people who can’t blow their own trumpet but I’ve learnt over time that acknowledging your strengths can be an essential part in having a good mental health. So there are times when I publish a post and mention that I’m quite proud if I’ve put lots of time or effort into it. That can be difficult if you’ve had previous experience (as I have) of bullying and are reluctant to say such a thing at risk of making yourself vulnerable and having others use your strength, and turn it into a negative thing. For example, when someone is happy with their body and weight, they become ‘full of’ themselves; or even if someone is expressing a positive feeling or moment in their life they can be labelled as ‘rubbing it’ in the faces of those who are experiencing difficulties. A bully will find something negative from the most wonderful thing but that is about them and not you. It can be easy to focus on negative comments and criticism – especially on your social media, but it affects your happiness so it’s something that you have to learn not to do. It’s good to be aware of those who are trying to help you to improve your work but it’s important to remember that you can’t please everyone. There are over a quarter of a million people reading I’m NOT Disordered now and there’ll be some who don’t like what they read. So, I read the comments of those who do like it. And I remember them. And I write for those people.

WHEN I’M DOUBTING MYSELF…

AD | PRESS RELEASE: GARY JAMES MCQUEEN RELEASES MENTAL HEALTH CARDS - "ARE YOU OK?" | AD

After studying Textiles as a GCSE student, I’ve had a passion for fashion; and as I grew older I became addicted to reading Vogue and Elle for style inspiration and the amazing photography of runway shows that I knew I’d never get to see in real life. Then, in my twenties, I moved onto makeup and beauty products (still with a jam-packed wardrobe!) and developed a keen eye for designer bargains (because there’s no money on the trees in my garden) in T K Maxx – particularly Valentino bags!

As I moved into blogging and the online mental health world in 2009, it became clear that most blogs were about fashion and beauty. It was a good thing at the time because it provided a gap in the market for I’m NOT Disordered to fill and at the time there were only four popular mental health blogs (and none of them were written by a current inpatient).

Like I said, the fashion and beauty bloggers took over the internet and seemed to be the ones who collaborated and were approached by organisations who wanted to use the blog as an advertising opportunity with the belief that when readers saw the blogger wearing a particular shoe, or talking about a new mascara; their followers would want to buy the same thing.