DAY TWENTY-THREE OF BLOGMAS UNBOXED 2023: CHRISTMAS MEMORIAL ITEMS FOR FOUR BELOVED PETS, A BIT ABOUT EACH OF THEM, & A REEL | IN COLLABORATION WITH PHOENIX COVE

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Welcome to Blogmas Unboxed!!

Today’s blog post is inspired by the four wooden decorative items I had made by Cleo at Phoenix Cove in memory of four pets I have lost; Saffy, Dolly, Pixie, and Emmy (you can customise – it doesn’t have to be a pet’s name – and purchase your own here). So, I thought I’d put together some little bits about each of them because I’m obviously aware that I have a significantly larger audience as the years have gone by and so, some people might not be aware of each of these pets, their stories, and their impact on my life – and on my mental health in particular…

REST IN PEACE MY DARLING LITTLE CALICO; EMMY

 

There was a moment when I felt cold and dead

A moment when nothing mattered

Nothing seemed worthy of my energy and time

And then you became mine

 

You came into the home when all was at a low

Dolly had just gone

And Pixie and I were broken

Then you became our lovely, lucky token

WHY GAINING RESPONSIBILITY IS ONE OF THE GREATEST REASONS TO HAVE A FURRY FRIEND | FOUR YEARS SINCE LOSING DOLLY

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too”

Paulo Coelho

Four years ago on October 16th, my big, fluffy, four-year-old Maine Coon; Dolly, was put to sleep after battling kidney failure for just over a week (you can read more about her death here). Every year since losing Dolly, I’ve felt the need to concentrate on all my good memories from my four years with her, because I recognised that if I didn’t – if I allowed my head to be consumed by all of the sadness and grief – there was every chance that I would fall apart. And this is a coping mechanism I found so helpful that I actually used it in the death of my Lionhead bunny; Pixie in 2021. From doing this, and from the fact that I now have a rescue, calico cat; Emmy, and a mini-Lionhead bunny; Luna, I found the inspiration for this blog post where I’m going to talk about my top four reasons for having pets…

DEAR EMMY, PLEASE STAY ALIVE

Dear Emmy,

We had a hard day yesterday, didn’t we? When the Vet said that they need to do a biopsy with the thought that you have the ‘C word’ I felt my legs actually wobble and thought I was literally going to fall to my knees. But I looked at your beautiful eyes and found the strength to keep standing. I had to. For your sake, I had to. Because you deserve a strong Mummy. A brave Mummy who will fight for you. I’d like to think I proved that when the other Vet dismissed your sore; because, despite having always had my pets registered with them, I trusted my own feeling that something was wrong and took you to another. And when they said you needed medication, I was reassured that I’d made the right decision. That – just from instinct – I’d known your best interests.

ADVICE FOR THE MOTHERS OF CATS | HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!! | IN COLLABORATION WITH CATS PROTECTION

 

I’d like to think that even short-term readers will know by now that I try to keep things original and creative on, I’m NOT Disordered. So rather than do a stereotypical/predictable post about how fantastic my Mum is (which she obviously is!); I thought I’d team up with Cats Protection again and bring you a post about advice I – as a cat Mum – would give to others…

Where does advice come from and why does it matter?

I think that advice can come from a mixture of reasons; it can be about something you failed to do and wish you had, or something you did, and feel was wrong, or something you’ve just learnt along the way… This piece of advice that doing research and bettering your knowledge and understanding of what having a cat will entail, comes from the fact that I definitely didn’t do it and that I wish I had.

At first, I wondered whether the importance I put upon the research before getting a cat was more of a quality of my mental health and thought processes and feelings around that. I mean, I really don’t like the element of surprise with the massive things in my life and I think that really does stem from both the number of times that I was told I wouldn’t be hospitalised and then was, and the general unpredictable nature of my hallucinations and suicidal thoughts. It was like I couldn’t keep up. It was frustrating because how could I possibly win if I wasn’t aware when the war was starting?! I didn’t even stand a chance.

WHY MY PETS HAVE A SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT | IN COLLABORATION WITH FLUFFY CREATURES LTD | DISCOUNT CODE INCLUDED | AD

*This piece is in collaboration with the Etsy store: Fluffy Creatures LTD and features photos of their products which weren’t gifted, though there is a discount code below!)*

https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/FluffyCreatureLtd

https://www.instagram.com/fluffycreatureltd/

Discount code (20% off when you spend £10): NOTDISORDERED

So, you may have missed it, but I got a new mini lop lionhead bunny (Luna) on September 1^st (you can read about her arrival here) and it almost felt inevitable – to me – that I created a joint Instagram account for her and my little calico rescue cat; Emmy… 

https://www.instagram.com/big.pawslittle.paws/

A FRESH START

The reason I had to make the decision to even just get Luna was because my previous lop Lionhead bunny; Pixie was put to sleep in April (you can read about her death here).

MAKING THE BIGGEST DECISION SINCE LOSING PIXIE | SIX WEEKS WITHOUT MY BUNNY

“How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives.”

Judy Blume

I honestly can’t believe it’s been an entire six weeks since my bunny; Pixie, was put to sleep (you can read more about her death here). When I told my Mum, she took the words right out of my mouth when she said, “it feels like yesterday.” Although, it is definitely one of those stereotypical – but still totally understandable – scenarios where it feels like it happened so recently and yet, in a way, it feels as though Pixie has been gone forever. However, either way, immediately after losing Pixie, I was aware that the decision I’m blogging about was going to be something I would struggle with; do I get another bunny?

Won’t the hallucinations come back?

It’s very well known (or at least to long-term readers) that I originally bought Pixie (you can read about her joining the family here) because my mental health had relapsed and my visual hallucinations of rabbits had come back…

When I was younger, I had two rabbits they killed their babies. Professionals have said that it was a trauma which contributed to the fact that I started hallucinating rabbits two years after my mental health began to deteriorate and the auditory hallucinations began. It was all well and good having those psychiatric staff recognise the connection, but me being the one who was actually experiencing it; I was unable to appreciate that common thread, and the hallucinations continued to make very little sense to me.

“SHE’LL BE MISSING HER BESTFRIEND” | LOOKING AFTER A GRIEVING PET | IN COLLABORATION WITH CATS PROTECTION | AD

in memory of Pixie

‘Although grief in animals is not well understood currently, you may recognise changes in behaviour in your cats, which may be attributed to grief.’

Cats Protection

So a little while ago, my cat’s best-friend, my lop-eared Lionhead bunny; Pixie, was put to sleep (you can read about her death here). Since losing her, Emmy – my cat – has become more and more upset and distressed. I wanted to take this horribly painful situation and somehow turn it into something that was – in some way – positive. So, I thought that talking about what happened might help others to feel less alone and that collaborating with Cats Protection, could provide professional advice for anyone confronted with a similar instance…

A taste of life without Pixie…

It started almost as soon as Pixie was first admitted to Critical Care on the weekend; at night-time Emmy sat outside the door to the room (the Kitchen) Pixie slept in, meowing over and over again until I called on her to come lay with me in bed.

When Pixie was allowed home, the Vet recommended keeping her and Emmy apart, but I explained how upset Emmy had gotten and voiced my belief that if anything, it would distress each of them further if they hadn’t seen one another. The Vet agreed it would be ok to just show them one another so that they knew they were sort of together again. So, I put Pixie in her carrier onto the bed where Emmy was lying, and they sniffed each other before I quickly put Pixie back into the Kitchen.

It ended up being quite challenging to get into the Kitchen without Emmy either already being sat there meowing at the door or her hearing me open the Kitchen door and coming running to it! There was one time where I’d gone in and hadn’t shut the door behind me, so I had turned around to see Emmy edging gradually and gently toward Pixie who was huddled in a corner under the dining table. I got the immediate impression that Emmy wanted to say ‘hi,’ but that she also knew that Pixie was poorly, so she was being cautious.

The absence of goodbye…

EMMY’S SECOND BIRTHDAY

Not going to lie, I’ve kind of gotten hooked on doing wishlists for my pets’ Birthdays! I realize it’s really not the content people come to I’m NOT Disordered for, but my blog is my own and I have to be happy with the content I produce. I think it’s also important that I take as many opportunities as possible to reiterate how important my pets are for my mental health!


After having to make the decision to put Dolly (my previous cat) to sleep in October 2018 (which you can read about here), myself and Pixie (my bunny) couldn’t live without a cat in our lives! Whilst I knew that no cat could ever replace Dolly, our home just wasn’t the same without that third presence.

EMMY’S CHRISTMAS WISHLIST BY EMMY | IN COLLABORATION WITH PETS AT HOME | AD

This post is in collaboration with my ultimate favourite shop for goodies – Pets At Home!

My Mum did a Christmas Wishlist first (which you can read here) and then my bunny sister Pixie (who’s from Pets At Home) wrote her Wishlist (which you can read here); and now it’s my turn! And because this is a special post with Pets At Home, I’ve wrote down all of my reasons for wanting these special, Christmassy items in the hope that someone will buy them all for me!


Also, wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone at Willows Cat Adoption Centre; who are the reason I’m able to celebrate Christmas this year after saving my life from being found wandering the streets at only a few weeks old!

Mum says this present is too big for Santa’s sleigh and that I don’t need it because I have a scratch post that isn’t very old but I told her that this is a WISHlist and that means I can put all of the items I could only wish for! The gifts I dream about finding under our 6ft Christmas tree that I constantly attempt to dismantle!

Climb & Perch Cat Scratch Post £75

A YEAR WITH EMMY | MY EXCLUSIVE DESIGN FOR BANDANA BOWTIQUE & A DISCOUNT CODE | AD

When all the tears are rolling down your face

And it feels like yours was the only heart to break

When you come back home and all the lights are out, ooh

And you're getting used to no one else being around

Oh, oh, I'll be there

When you need a little love, I got a little love to share

Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna come through

You'll never be alone, I'll be there for you

Jess Glynne - I'll Be There

To celebrate Emmy's very first Adoptaversary I'm honoured to say that Bandana Bowtique gave me the opportunity to design a bandana for pets that will be sold on their Etsy shop! Having discovered how good it feels to have adopted a pet; I thought that this little slogan (Adopt Don't Shop) would be perfect!
You can also get 15% off any of their products with the code IMNOTDISORDERED at the checkout! 

Dear Emmy,


Happy First Adoptaversary!


I’m so sorry for the start you had in life - I wish I knew who had dumped you on the streets when you were only a few weeks old because I would kick their ass from here to next week! I’m so grateful that Willows Cat Adoption Center found you and helped you get to the point where I could adopt you! I think that being dumped made you a little fighter though! You’re strong-willed and unafraid (even of the Vets!). I’d like to think that makes you a little like me; you’ve had your courage and fight tested by hardships in life and you’ve come out the other side, the winner.

MARKING ONE YEAR WITHOUT DOLLY

When I think Back On These Times,
And The Dreams We Left Behind,
I'll Be Glad 'Cause I Was Blessed
To Get To Have You In My Life.
When I Look Back On These Days,
I'll Look And See Your Face,
You Were Right There For Me,

In My Dreams I'll Always See You
Soar Above The Sky,
In My Heart There'll Alwys Be A Place For You
For All My Life,
I'll Keep A Part Of You With Me,
And Everywhere I Am There You'll Be

Faith Hill - Everywhere I Am

[the advert photo from pets4homes] 

I’m going to be so cliché right now and say that I can’t believe it’s been a year since Dolly was put to sleep and almost a year since I adopted Emmy because it feels like just yesterday that it all happened!


I’ve recently had a friend on social media have to go through a similar experience of deciding whether to have her cat put to sleep. Initially, it was really triggering of the memories of being stood in the clinic room at Robson and Prescott Vets and having to agree to lose my best-friend forever in order to end her pain and suffering. After a little while, though, I realized that instead of allowing my friend’s suffering to trigger the memories, maybe I could use my experience to help her through this difficult time. I remember in the first few days after Dolly was put to sleep and I said to a friend that it was the hardest decision I’d ever had to make before correcting myself and realizing that I was probably only saying that because it’s what everyone says in these situations. But actually, it wasn’t ‘hard;’ it was easy. There was no debating whether to put Dolly through one final battery of tests and treatments – that might not even have worked - just to give myself an extra day with her. The decision just wasn’t nice or fair.

TOP TIPS FOR MENTAL HEALTH AND PETS | IN COLLABORATION WITH CATS PROTECTION’S ‘MORE THAN JUST A CAT’ CAMPAIGN | AD

You’d think that by now, I’d have exhausted the topic of mental health and pets but when there’s something that you’re passionate about, you often can’t shut up about it! So, I’ve found room on my blog for more info and tips on all things mental health and pets! 


This post is in collaboration with Cats Protection and their new campaign: ‘More Than Just A Cat’ which talks a lot about how huge an impact cats can have on your life to illustrate to those who don’t understand, just how important our pets are. Being a mental health Blogger, I guess it’s obvious that I want to concentrate on the mental impact animals can have; because yes, they make good company but what does that company mean to you? Does it fight off feelings of loneliness? Does it keep you grounded? Does that stop you from self-harming? Does it encourage you to be more open with your support workers? 


For this reason, here’s five tips for all thing’s mental health and pets:



Before you get a pet, make sure your mental health is stable enough for you to be responsible for another life

Once upon a time, I wanted to work with Children, but I realized that if I couldn’t care for myself then how could I look after someone else?! It’s the same with pets. Having one, you’re becoming responsible for another life and if you can’t take care of your own then is it fair to attempt to care for another. Although, I do appreciate that you might hold the belief that getting a pet will help stabilize your mental health it’s important to stay realistic and be prepared to take such a risk. I think that it’s reasonable to be in the right place to get a pet and then find yourself struggling later on, but don’t go into it with that frame of mind.

LESSONS LEARNT SINCE ADOPTING EMMY| IN COLLABORATION WITH BANDANA BOWTIQUE | EXCLUSIVE DISCOUNT CODE INCLUDED | AD

“Even the smallest ones can change the world”

-       Peter Rabbit

 


You don’t have had to have been reading I’m NOT Disordered very long to know that my mental health is greatly benefited by having my pets (a two-year-old bunny named Pixie and a one-year-old kitten named Emmy) because I regularly talk about them, promote the general notion of having pets, and have collaborated on a few pieces for Pets at Home, Cats Protection and Willows Cat Adoption Centre. And if you know this, then you’ll appreciate my happiness when I found an excuse to go into my local Pets at Home; the bow on Emmy’s collar was frayed but things got even better when I spotted some new collars and accessories! I’ve always wanted to dress up my pets, but I’ve been very skeptical that they’d tolerate anything so when I fell in love with the ‘So Meowgical’ bandana for cats, I figured it was the perfect opportunity to give it a go! And, much to my excitement, Emmy loved her trendy new neckerchief and - as I said to my Mum - “she ponced about in it like she was all proud of herself!” And of course, once I’d seen that she liked it, I went ahead to searched for cat bandanas on Etsy! I’ve never used Etsy before but the price on the personalized neckerchief, from Bandana Bowtique, that I picked out was so good that I figured it wouldn’t matter too much if the order didn’t work. But of course, it did, and after the neckerchief was delivered in a matter of days (despite it only being a £1 delivery charge) I messaged the seller to suggest a collaboration. And I’m very pleased to say that Bandana Bowtique have offered you all an exclusive 15% discount code to use on their Etsy shop  - all you have to do is type in IMNOTDISORDERED at the checkout! 

WHY IT’S ALWAYS GOOD TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE FAMILY

So, the other night I went to the Birthday party (with live music from We Steal Flyers) of my best-friend (Lauren)’s Mum (Julie) and a lot about the night inspired this blog post.

The Dewars
Since our regular nights out in 2011, Lauren and I have always said her family (namely her Mum, Dad, and Brother) are like a second family because I was constantly at their house and they treat me like a second Daughter! We were all always in Lauren’s room or the Kitchen, drinking vodka and laughing at YouTube fail videos and then there were the very few nights in when we’d watch Mock The Week, drink wine, and play with the dogs!

ALL OF MY THANK YOU’S FOR 2018 | HAPPY NEW YEAR 2019

Previous New Years with I'm NOT Disordered:

2013/2014 featured a list (what I didn’t achieve from it, carried on to 2014/2015) but now, in 2017, I’ve now achieved/completed the entire list - 12/12!

2014/2015 was a list of goals for the year ahead – and if you go read it and are wondering, I did/have done 9/10

2015/2016 featured a short list of upcoming projects, plans, and goals for the year ahead.

2016/2017 I celebrated with a completely new design – I can’t believe I’ve had this new logo for a year! I guess I need to stop calling it my new logo! I also asked myself – and some others – two questions: 1. What was one of your favourite things about 2016? And 2. What one thing are you looking forward to in 2017?

To mark the end of 2018, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all those who have made the year so very special.

*To all those not specifically mentioned (you know who you are) I have an equal amount of gratitude for you too! But there’s only so long a post can be before people stop reading it!*

People:

Mum, thank you for: never straying from my side, always trusting me, playing with Emmy when I’m too tired to, putting faith and determination into my recovery, making the phonecalls that would make me anxious, the laughs and inside jokes, the hugs when I cry and the tears when you’re proud.  

CAN I DISTRACT MY WAY THROUGH CHRISTMAS? | GRIEF AT CHRISTMASTIME

“Just because I stopped blogging about it, doesn’t mean it went away!”

I recently wrote a blog post on ways to look after your mental health at Christmastime and I talked a little about what a festive person I am and that I didn’t want to come across as not knowing what I was talking about. Like many blog posts, it made me think a lot afterwards and I realized that actually, this year, I can, sort of, identify with some people struggling at this time of year. And whilst the cause for my struggle might seem lesser than others, it’s important to recognize that grief is grief. A person’s turmoil shouldn’t depend on how close the relative was or whether the loss was a human or animal; because it isn’t always about who you’ve lost but what you’ve lost.

This year will be the first Christmas without my Cat, Dolly. This week it will have been two months since she was put to sleep. If you don’t have a clue what I’m talking about then here’s the posts I wrote at the time: here and here because this post isn’t for going through the whole story again; it’s about having to move on.

FOUR BEGINNINGS FOR FOUR YEARS IN MY FOREVER HOME

1.     Emmy

I guess that since Emmy is the most recent addition to the household it’s only fair that I talk about her first! I’ve talked a lot (here and here) about the cat I got when I moved in (Dolly) and how she recently passed away and the house was so… quiet without her. I don’t know if quiet’s the right word… When I use it, I don’t mind physically quiet; it’s not that Dolly used to meow a lot! More that there’s quiet from the loss of her presence. As much as I loved Dolly and recognized that getting her was a huge achievement and testament to my recovery, I don’t think I realized just how big a part of the home she was. When I’d go out or to events, I’d think about getting back home and looking back, I realize that it wasn’t so that I could be around my own things again; it was to be with my pets again! Getting Emmy has been a huge milestone in my recovery and my time in this house because for almost four years, Dolly was a part of that house. But it’s brilliant to get a whole new start again with Emmy and to see her learn – and teach her - new things, watch her explore the house (and ALL of its surfaces), find out her likes and dislikes and see her personality grow.

 

GOODBYES - THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE UGLY

At 27, I think I’d still be classed as young but at the same time, it’s kind of expected – at my age – to have at least gone through some challenging ‘goodbye’ situations. I mean, I think you’d struggle to find a 27-year-old who could say they’ve never experienced the death of a loved one, or a relationship break-up. The sad truth is, goodbyes are an inevitable challenge in life. We will all face one eventually.

It’s difficult to rank the goodbyes I’ve faced into which was the most challenging because I don’t want to say one and for the others to seem meaningless or ‘easier’ to cope with. So I’m not going to talk about the goodbyes I’ve experienced in any particular order; no one experience was harder than the other – each of them were completely different and challenging in their own way…

A FORTNIGHT WITH EMMY

Every day you’re here,

I’m healing

-       Clean Bandit: Symphony

I’ve found that a lot of I’m NOT Disordered readers don’t follow me on Twitter or Instagrarm (my Facebook is private) so not everyone has seen my many photos of Emmy since I wrote my post when I got her two weeks ago today: http://www.imnotdisordered.co.uk/2018/10/readers-meet-emmy-wilson-willows-cat.html

Since October 15^th I haven’t had any thoughts to self-harm or heard any auditory hallucinations, so I feel like I’ve really been able to enjoy Emmy’s first few weeks here. I’ve actually been able to spend as much time with her as possible.