INDULGING IN CHILDHOOD ACTIVITIES VIA AMAZON!!! | CREATE A HOUSE WITH AMAZON | IN COLLABORATION WITH AMAZON UK

I’ve spoken numerous times during I’m NOT Disordered’s eleven-year-long existence, about my Nana – my Mum’s Mum – and usually this has been about her love for my writing when I was younger. She used to absolutely love my little, short stories about animals – usually Horses – going on adventures, and my Mum has said that my Nana would often ask her on the phone when the next story was coming! She used to laugh and smile at all the bits that weren’t even necessarily that funny or weren’t even meant to be funny! She and my Mum were my greatest supporters – not just in my writing, but in my life too! And I don’t think I’d be a blogger without having had their encouragement at that vital time in my exploration and development of my enjoyment, ability, and passion for writing and we all know how grateful and privileged I feel with my blogging career…

THE TEN BIGGEST IMPACTS ON MY PERSONALITY | IN COLLABORATION WITH FUTURE LEARN AND MONASH UNIVERSITY | AD

I wrote recently (here) about my thoughts on personality after beginning the Monash University course (via futurelearn.com); Introduction to Psychology: The Psychology of Personality. On completing week two of the course, I got thinking about all of the things that can impact a person’s personality. I mean, I talked in my first post about how I believe that ‘personality’ is who you are but that doesn’t mean that I think it’s ingrained in you – that it’s natural or always stable throughout all kinds of circumstances and situations. I 100% believe that your personality can be shaped by external events and how you internalize these, how they change your views on the world and the way you react in different situations. 

FOUR THINGS I'D TELL MY SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD SELF

We can’t change the past. All we can do is learn from it. So, don’t get me wrong; these aren’t regrets. They’re just things that I’ve learnt now.

1.       You aren’t weak

I always believed that in not stopping the abuse and not reporting it to anyone meant that I was in some way weak. I believed it took someone strong and courageous to be able to tell someone they’ve been hurt in the way I had been. And it does take strength. And it does take courage. But at the same time, not telling someone doesn’t make you weak.

MENTAL HEALTH IN 5 DISNEY QUOTES

1.     “Now we just have to survive this blizzard” – Frozen

Sadness and suicidal thoughts are cold. They make you cold towards others because your insides are so overwhelmingly freezing that you can’t help but let them spill over when you’re interacting with other people. It doesn’t matter who those people are. When your insides are so cold that you’re in an internal, permanent blizzard; you don’t care – no! It’s not that you don’t care… there’s no choice about whether to care or not. It’s not like you’ve decided not to! It’s more about it not being there at all. That warmth is gone and some days all you can do is breathe. Survive.

MY LIFE IN LYRICS

MY CHILDHOOD:

‘Can't nuthin', bring me down (happy)
I said, let me tell you now, unh (happy)
Bring me down, can't nuthin', bring me down (happy, happy, happy)
My level is too high to bring me down (happy, happy, happy)
Can't nuthin' bring me down (happy, happy, happy)
I said

Because I'm happy’

-       Pharrell Williams - Happy

THE IMMEDIATE AFTERMATH OF THE ABUSE:

WHY I'M STILL LEARNING TO COPE WITH CHANGE

My childhood was idyllic; I was wrapped in cotton wool and grew up in a bubble away from all of the nasty people and all of the nasty things in the world. As much as it meant that meeting someone awful was an absolute shock to the system; I still think it was the perfect way to have grown up and would hope for my own children to live such a childhood.

There's a part of me I can't get back
A little girl grew up too fast
All it took was once, I'll never be the same
Now I'm taking back my life today

- Demi Lovato - Warrior

WORLD BOOK DAY 2018 WITH BLYTH LIBRARY | AD

Happy World Book Day 2018 guys & girls!

To celebrate the day, I attended an event at Blyth Library: http://mylibrary.co.uk/whats-on/events/614-world-book-night-coffee-evening

[Author, Christine Melville Kenworthy was also in attendance! To find out more about her work visit: christinemelvillekenworthy.com]

And now here's the post:

The book you’re currently reading:

ThePiano by Victoria Walter. I just started reading this short story because I’ll be attending an event later in June where I’ll be meeting the Author and I thought it was only respectful and decent, to be able to make conversation about her own work.

WHY ANY FEELING TOWARDS YOUR ABUSER IS OK

Photography: RJ Photography

Please note that this blog post discusses sexual abuse, some readers may find this triggering or upsetting. For support on anything mentioned in this post, please visit: https://www.mind.org.uk/

Writing this post, I’m reminded of a piece I wrote a little while ago about having sex and children after being raped or sexually abused (http://www.imnotdisordered.co.uk/2017/10/the-big-awkward-chat-sex-rape-sexual.html). I talked about how when I’d struggled with this area of my life there’d been nowhere to turn because it seemed that no one on the internet was discussing it. This is something that I hope epitomises I’m NOT Disordered; in that people can turn to it for issues that they feel completely alone in. Sometimes, a lack of information on subjects like these are mistaken as a sign that it is a taboo issue; something to be ashamed of experiencing and embarrassed to talk about. And this is wrong. Nine times out of ten if you can’t find an issue online that you’re experiencing it’s because no one has had the courage to speak up about it and not, that no one else is experiencing it. It goes in a cycle because it is through making this assumption that no one is speaking out.

When I was first abused I remember feeling like a was on a fairground ride, my thoughts we are whirling around inside my head, crashing into one another; fighting for space and attention. Fighting for the right to be heard. Demanding to be felt.

A LAST MINUTE CHRISTMAS Q&A | 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS WITH I’M NOT DISORDERED

SURPRISE!
I had one more Christmassy Q&A completed and I couldn't resist letting you guys see it before the New Year!
So here it is... courtesy of Claire Andre, Police Liaison Lead for Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust:

1. When do you start getting excited for Christmas Day?

CHRISTMAS Q&A WITH MY FIANCE RONNIE SKELTON, MECHANIC & PHOTOGRAPHER | 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS WITH I'M NOT DISORDERED

It’s a special time of year and so, to celebrate it, I wanted to do something special on I’m NOT Disordered for Christmas. I have decided to bring back the Christmassy Q&A I put together last year with the questions being from a YouTube video and have posed them to many different people from all of the country and doing all sorts of jobs, in all sorts of roles, living all kinds of lives!

So let’s kick off the last part of the series: Day Twelve of 12 Days of Christmas with I'm NOT Disordered with the answers of my fiancé Ronnie Skelton, qualified mechanic and photographer.

1.    When do you start getting excited for Christmas Day?

CHRISTMAS Q&A WITH ESTHER BEADLE, FREELANCE JOURNALIST | 12 DAYS WITH I'M NOT DISORDERED

It’s a special time of year and so, to celebrate it, I wanted to do something special on I’m NOT Disordered for Christmas. I have decided to bring back the Christmassy Q&A I put together last year with the questions being from a YouTube video and have posed them to many different people from all of the country and doing all sorts of jobs, in all sorts of roles, living all kinds of lives!

So let’s kick off Day Eleven of 12 Days of Christmas with I'm NOT Disordered with the answers of Esther Beadle, Freelance Journalist:

1. When do you start getting excited for Christmas Day?

CHRISTMAS Q&A WITH SPECIAL CONSTABLE NEIL PATTON FROM NORTHUMBRIA POLICE | 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS WITH I'M NOT DISORDERED

It’s a special time of year and so, to celebrate it, I wanted to do something special on I’m NOT Disordered for Christmas. I have decided to bring back the Christmassy Q&A I put together last year with the questions being from a YouTube video and have posed them to many different people from all of the country and doing all sorts of jobs, in all sorts of roles, living all kinds of lives!

So let’s kick off Day Ten of 12 Days of Christmas with I'm NOT Disordered with the answers of Special Constable Neil Patton from Northumbria Police:

_{1. When do you start getting excited for Christmas Day?}

CHRISTMAS Q&A WITH CAROLINE WILD, DEPUTY DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS AT NORTHUMBERLAND, TYNE & WEAR NHS FOUNDATION TRUST | 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS WITH I'M NOT DISORDERED

It’s a special time of year and so, to celebrate it, I wanted to do something special on I’m NOT Disordered for Christmas. I have decided to bring back the Christmassy Q&A I put together last year with the questions being from a YouTube video and have posed them to many different people from all of the country and doing all sorts of jobs, in all sorts of roles, living all kinds of lives!

So let’s kick off Day Nine of 12 Days of Christmas with I'm NOT Disordered with the answers of Caroline Wild, Deputy Director of Communications and Corporate Relations at Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust.

1.       When do you start getting excited for Christmas Day?

CHRISTMAS Q&A WITH ELLEN WHITE, MIND AWARDS WINNER | 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS WITH I'M NOT DISORDERED

It’s a special time of year and so, to celebrate it, I wanted to do something special on I’m NOT Disordered for Christmas. I have decided to bring back the Christmassy Q&A I put together last year with the questions being from a YouTube video and have posed them to many different people from all of the country and doing all sorts of jobs, in all sorts of roles, living all kinds of lives!

So let’s kick off Day Eight of 12 Days of Christmas with I'm NOT Disordered with the answers of Ellen White, winner of a Mind Award and a blogger at www.ellensocdblog.com

1.       When do you start getting excited for Christmas Day?

CHRISTMAS Q&A WITH 'BORDERLINE OK' | 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS WITH I'M NOT DISORDERED

It’s a special time of year and so, to celebrate it, I wanted to do something special on I’m NOT Disordered for Christmas. I have decided to bring back the Christmassy Q&A I put together last year with the questions being from a YouTube video and have posed them to many different people from all of the country and doing all sorts of jobs, in all sorts of roles, living all kinds of lives!

So let’s kick off Day Seven of 12 Days of Christmas with I'm NOT Disordered with the answers of 'Borderline OK.'

1.       When do you start getting excited for Christmas Day?

CHRISTMAS Q&A WITH DETECTIVE SERGEANT LLOYD, BBC MIND OVER MARATHON | 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS WITH I'M NOT DISORDERED

It’s a special time of year and so, to celebrate it, I wanted to do something special on I’m NOT Disordered for Christmas. I have decided to bring back the Christmassy Q&A I put together last year with the questions being from a YouTube video and have posed them to many different people from all of the country and doing all sorts of jobs, in all sorts of roles, living all kinds of lives!

So let’s kick off Day Six of 12 Days of Christmas with I'm NOT Disordered with the answers of Detective Sergeant Georgina Lloyd, who featured on the BBC documentary Mind Over Marathon

1.     When do you start getting excited for Christmas Day?

CHRISTMAS Q&A WITH CORPORATE GOVERNANCE DIRECTOR VICKY MCNALLY, CYGNET HEALTHCARE | 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS WITH I'M NOT DISORDERED

It’s a special time of year and so, to celebrate it, I wanted to do something special on I’m NOT Disordered for Christmas. I have decided to bring back the Christmassy Q&A I put together last year with the questions being from a YouTube video and have posed them to many different people from all of the country and doing all sorts of jobs, in all sorts of roles, living all kinds of lives!

So let’s kick off Day Five of 12 Days of Christmas with I'm NOT Disordered with the answers of Vicky McNally, Corporate Governance Director from private healthcare organisation Cygnet Healthcare

1.       When do you start getting excited for Christmas Day?

CHRISTMAS Q&A WITH CO DALE CHECKSFIELD, DURHAM CONSTABULARY | 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS WITH I'M NOT DISORDERED

It’s a special time of year and so, to celebrate it, I wanted to do something special on I’m NOT Disordered for Christmas. I have decided to bring back the Christmassy Q&A I put together last year with the questions being from a YouTube video and have posed them to many different people from all of the country and doing all sorts of jobs, in all sorts of roles, living all kinds of lives!

So let’s kick off Day Four of 12 Days of Christmas with I'm NOT Disordered with the answers of Chief Officer Dale Checksfield from Durham Special Constabulary

1.       When do you start getting excited for Christmas Day?

CHRISTMAS Q&A WITH AUTHOR MARTIN BAKER | 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS WITH I'M NOT DISORDERED |

It’s a special time of year and so, to celebrate it, I wanted to do something special on I’m NOT Disordered for Christmas. I have decided to bring back the Christmassy Q&A I put together last year with the questions being from a YouTube video and have posed them to many different people from all of the country and doing all sorts of jobs, in all sorts of roles, living all kinds of lives!

So let’s kick off Day Three of 12 Days of Christmas with I'm NOT Disordered with the answers of Martin Baker, Author of High Tide Low Tide.

1.    When do you start getting excited for Christmas Day?

CHRISTMAS Q&A WITH SERGEANT ASH HOPPER, NORTHUMBRIA POLICE | 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS WITH I'M NOT DISORDERED

It’s a special time of year and so, to celebrate it, I wanted to do something special on I’m NOT Disordered for Christmas. I have decided to bring back the Christmassy Q&A I put together last year with the questions being from a YouTube video and have posed them to many different people from all of the country and doing all sorts of jobs, in all sorts of roles, living all kinds of lives!

So let’s kick off Day Two of 12 Days of Christmas with I'm NOT Disordered with the answers of Sergeant Ash Hopper from Northumbria Police

1. When do you start getting excited for Christmas Day?