A BEHIND-THE-SCENES OF COLLABORATIONS | CATS PROTECTION, NORTHUMBRIA POLICE, CNTW NHS FOUNDATION TRUST, OLIVER BONAS, BANDANA BOWTIQUE, RICHMOND FELLOWSHIP, LNER & MORE!!

In light of the success of my article for the Cats Protection blog about the benefits to my mental health having a cat has had, I thought it might be a good time to talk a bit about what it’s like to collaborate with organizations/charities/companies and why I do it.

There are a few controversial issues in the blogging industry such as whether or not to monopolize your blog and feature ads, if you should make your blog into a ‘brand’ and whether you should collaborate with others on joint projects and partnerships.


I guess I decided to do collaborations pretty early on in my blogging career and had a guest blog feature on Time To Change’s website within months of beginning I’m NOT Disordered. I made the decision to work with the brilliant organization who primarily campaign to eradicate the stigma against mental health quite easily. I had been enjoying writing/blogging and found it a huge relief to have somewhere to vent and offload all my pent-up thoughts and feelings that were magnetized by being in a psychiatric hospital. So, it just seemed to make sense to also write a piece for such a huge, well-known, and influential organization like Time To Change. Seeing my number of readers grow after the collaboration was very rewarding and realizing that working with more established organizations would shed some light on the existence of my brand new, little, unknown blog led to more and more collaborations.

A CHAT ABOUT TRUST IN MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES | TW

After self-harming over a week ago I was put under the care of the Northumberland,Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust Crisis Resolution Home Treatment Team (or the Crisis Team basically!) and on the day before I was discharged from their caseload I self-harmed again. When I did it the staff arrived to see me and ended up taking me to A&E for stitches. When they went on to their next visit with another service user, they ended up leaving my care plan at that person’s house and as soon as they realized they returned to the house and got it back. Then I got a phone call with an apology to tell me what had happened and that the Team had reported the breach of data protection. The support worker who called me asked if I wanted the complaints procedure and it didn’t take me long to reply with ‘no.’ I think he was surprised but I came to that conclusion because I knew that the Team had done all that they could to rectify the situation; they’d realized what had happened, gotten the care plan back, reported it, and apologized to me. It was that last bit that really helped in my decision not to make a formal complaint. I’ve talked before about how important apologies are to me and how I think they’re essential in mental health because they’re the cornerstone of building – or maintaining trust in a person or a service. The Manager of the service called me and asked if there was anything else they could do because she didn’t want me thinking that I couldn’t trust the Team and therefore wouldn’t utilize them as support in a crisis. But that trust has been maintained with the apology.

GUESS WHAT I'M DOING JUNE 17TH... AND SO ARE YOU!! | AD

FILMING 'HOPE' WITH THE NHS | IN COLLABORATION WITH NORTHUMBERLAND, TYNE & WEAR NHS FOUNDATION TRUST | AD

I was honoured to be asked to film with NTW for their film about 'hope.'

Both versions of the films can be viewed at www.ntw.nhs.uk/hope

It is generally accepted that hope plays a crucial part in recovery from mental illness. The film came from Peer Support Workers looking at how we connect with people at a time when we feel that we have lost hope. Something Peer Support workers do on a day to day basis. We wanted to explore how we help people see that others have been through similar experiences and felt hopeless, however have found a way back. It is hoped, this film will be a powerful tool to anyone in finding hope, whether that be as a person experiencing mental ill health themselves, or a person’s friend or family member. 

WHEN THE NURSE TAKES HER APOLOGY BACK

It feels like it’s been a long time since I wrote a more personal post – I think that I’ve had a lot of collaborations recently; but I’m NOT Disordered started with me writing about my day-to-day life so I guess it’s something that attracts people…?


Last week, I had my weekly appointment with my Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) and she asked what my long-term goals are so I said that I’d like to be discharged from the Community Mental Health Team (CMHT) by the end of the year.  She asked what needed to happen between now and then for me to think that I was well enough for discharge and I told her ‘no self-harm.’ To which she replied, ‘I don’t think that’s realistic… your life will always revolve around self-harm now.’


I mean…?!!!!! What a comment!


In the appointment I told her that I wanted to end it early and started crying so I left.

The next day, she rang me to apologize. I’m one of those people who appreciates apologies a lot and I think that it takes a big person to not only recognize when their behaviour has been wrong but to also then say they’re sorry for doing it.

TEN THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SAY

1.      “I’M TWENTY-EIGHT!”

It’s like I wrote in my blog post on my twenty eighth Birthday (February 1^st 2019), when I took my first overdose aged eighteen (in 2009) I don’t think there was a huge concern that I wouldn’t make it to my next Birthday because the overdose wasn’t really life-threatening and I think people just assumed it to be a ‘one-off.’ But by 2012, when they’d calculated that I’d taken over 60 overdoses in the space of three years and I ended up on life support, I think people became… ‘concerned’ is probably an understatement… especially after I ended up on life support in Intensive Care.

2.      “I LIVE IN A BUNGALOW”

So often I get asked questions about my ‘flat’ and I’m so proud and lucky to be able to correct people with ‘I live in a bungalow.’ It’s sad that I only got this home because I’d been in a psychiatric hospital for two and a half years and so I was high priority on the list for a council property. But I could’ve just been housed in a crappy little flat! We dubbed my little bungalow my ‘forever home’ but as I progress through recovery, I can see that it’s almost inevitable that I will move at some point in the future but for now, I’m grateful for my little one-bedroom bungalow! 

THANK YOUS IN THE MIDST OF A BLIP

Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game

-          Gravity from Wicked

I’m happy to finally be able to say that the most recent ‘blip’ in my mental health recovery seems to be coming to an end! Just like the beginning of this, I can pinpoint the trigger of it. I’ve talked a lot about how my abuser’s new job role sparked off a lot of old thoughts and feelings that led to a lot of old coping strategies but now I can finally talk about the causes of my stabilizing.

I think that the first thing was when I was asked whether there should be a phone call to the RSPCA to get my pets rehomed because if I was so intent on committing suicide then it wouldn’t be fair on them. Another trigger was the impact my suicidal intent had on those closest to me. It was a bit of a wake-up call – a common feeling for those who are suicidal is the belief that their friends and family will be better off without them. I too had this thought, but their reactions became evidence to the contrary. I realized – the hard way – that I was loved and when my Twitter was flooded with positive messages and hopes that I ‘feel better soon’ I really learnt that my work – this blog – was helping others and was told that without it, people might just give up hope. Sometimes, when you don’t want to be alive, the only way to move through it is to stay alive for the sake of others. That, at least, buys you some time to work on your thoughts and feelings until it you actually, finally, begin to feel better about yourself. The final trigger for this stabilization was the negative interaction I had with a particular Police Officer from the Northumbria Police force.

TWENTY-EIGHT THINGS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO FOR MY 28TH BIRTHDAY

And the world becomes a fantasy
And you're more than you could ever be
'Cause you're dreaming with your eyes wide open

Greatest Showman – Come Alive

Birthdays are one of those yearly events, like Christmas and New Years, where everyone responds to it differently. Half of people are excited and enjoy the celebrations where the other half dread them and struggle with overwhelming negative emotions. I’m with the first half! I especially love Birthdays because I like the thought of having an entire day dedicated to creating all of the positive emotions and memories that the person deserves all year round! This means I’m probably more excited for other people’s Birthdays than my own but I’m still majorly excited to be turning 28!

So I’ve compiled a list of things I’m excited for – not just things that’ll happen on my Birthday but things to look forward to in general… Some of them may seem ‘small’ or ‘insignificant’ but sometimes the littlest things have the biggest impact!

ALL OF MY THANK YOU’S FOR 2018 | HAPPY NEW YEAR 2019

Previous New Years with I'm NOT Disordered:

2013/2014 featured a list (what I didn’t achieve from it, carried on to 2014/2015) but now, in 2017, I’ve now achieved/completed the entire list - 12/12!

2014/2015 was a list of goals for the year ahead – and if you go read it and are wondering, I did/have done 9/10

2015/2016 featured a short list of upcoming projects, plans, and goals for the year ahead.

2016/2017 I celebrated with a completely new design – I can’t believe I’ve had this new logo for a year! I guess I need to stop calling it my new logo! I also asked myself – and some others – two questions: 1. What was one of your favourite things about 2016? And 2. What one thing are you looking forward to in 2017?

To mark the end of 2018, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all those who have made the year so very special.

*To all those not specifically mentioned (you know who you are) I have an equal amount of gratitude for you too! But there’s only so long a post can be before people stop reading it!*

People:

Mum, thank you for: never straying from my side, always trusting me, playing with Emmy when I’m too tired to, putting faith and determination into my recovery, making the phonecalls that would make me anxious, the laughs and inside jokes, the hugs when I cry and the tears when you’re proud.  

LAUNCHING NTW'S ADULT MENTAL HEALTH NETWORK | AD

Another Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust (NTW) event!

The run up to this one was a little bit… well the staff called it ‘woolly.’ Apparently, that was on purpose because the entire event was to launch the brand-new Adult Mental Health Network and with it being such a unique and one-of-a-kind venture, there’s no real model or guide on what it should look like.

The launch event centred around bringing together a huge variety of people from a selection of charities and organisations what ranged from Age UK to Carers Northumberland to representatives of the RESPOND training. Immediately, the atmosphere was incredible – you get so many events where people are there because their manager has asked them to be and you can feel a reluctance and pressure there… At this event though, there was a clear feeling of everyone being there because they wanted to and that they actually wanted to learn.